What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

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Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Do you think there will ever be a movie that features a line such as “You graduated at the top of your class in liberal arts, we need your help”?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Why do atheists always argue about the existence of suffering in the world as meaning God doesn't exist when it doesn't prove anything?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

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Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

What can I do if I'm afraid to die from sleep apnea, but deathly afraid of wearing a sleep Apnea mask?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

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TEXT:

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

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I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Democrats be honest, how many of you were wishing that Musk rescue space flight blew up?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

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Make Nazis afraid again!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Are there any real-life examples of prisoners who escaped from hospitals and were never caught?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.